First off, unlike my "Anti-Depressant" blog where there was some confusion about whether or not the crude artwork was a depiction me, the picture above IS actually a depiction of me, albeit a light and dark side.Every human being young or old, male or female has both a light and dark side. If anyone thinks my mention of "dark side" is in relationship to "Star Wars", you should be ashamed of yourself... Unlike cultural depictions such as in "Star Wars", the dark side is not necessarily a bad side. Carl Jung referred to what I'm talking about by calling it the "Shadow Side". While I'm not completely speaking about Jung's shadow side, I'm kind of in a similar area. The dark side is the side of all of us where the things we are most passionate about and unrestrained about exist. It is also the side that is often suppressed due to a fear of judgment from those in society. The dark side is emotional and highly imaginative. Strong emotions such as love and compassion can exist on the dark side, so really it isn't a bad thing right? Jung says that the shadow side often manifests itself in dreams as a locked away section of the subconscious. Of course with any strong and unrestrained emotions you can have some negatives like hate, but that is all based on how you chose to handle your emotions. While attending an art college, I found that a lot of the students there seemed to prefer the dark side 24/7. They were very emotional and sometimes strangely unique people who had no fear of society and the judgment it could bring.
On the opposite end is the light side. The light side typically feels safe from judgment and is generally of a more conformist nature. It is a side that is very restrained. People that are fully engulfed with this side wouldn't stand out in a crowd or seem to boast any unique quality. They would never be judged or criticized for anything.
I've found that it is healthy to have an even immersion in both sides. A lot of people live their lives completely unaware of such things. If you are a creative person like myself, you are more likely to establish an awareness of these two sides at some point.
I had spent a large portion of my life suppressing my dark side. I kept a safe and judgment-free existence on the light side, especially after having dealt with a great deal of bullying and judgment while in middle school. Because of such an imbalance, I felt an unidentified void inside of me for a long time. I would go to high school with my neatly combed and conformed hair, wearing my khaki pants and monochrome polo shirt, devoid of any outward expression for fear of judgment. I didn't stand out, yet I didn't belong. I was completely and absolutely invisible. When I would go home and into the privacy of my room, I would listen to music and lose myself in dark and passionate imagination. My musical tastes at the time were very telling about my suppressed dark side. I favored a lot of electronic alternative and industrial rock from a notably darker end of the musical spectrum. I had a little goth/emo kid inside of me that wasn't getting any attention, but I would've never taken the chance and let that part of me out back then.
It wasn't until my 3rd year of college that my dark side was forced out (and I'm thankful that it was). Like so many of us, I had a particularly painful experience with a young lady. So painful that it called up some of my deepest set emotions. Since the dark side stays immersed in emotion, that part of me surfaced and it showed in a large portion of my artwork at the time. My art was wildly imaginative, emotional, and completely unrestrained. The following year I shot my film "Lavorsia", which was a film with a story that came from a deep pocket of my dark side. It subsequently won numerous awards and acclaim. It was a very liberating time for me. In my opinion, it was a time when some of my best artwork was done and with the most unmistakable passion. Below are some examples of the art I cranked out at that time:
These days I try to keep a healthy balance of dark and light. You won't see me walking around in khakis with neatly combed hair anymore, but you won't see me wearing all black and "guy-liner" either. I stay neutral. And yes, in my experience the side you typically align yourself with DOES show in outward appearance believe-it-or-not, although not necessarily deliberate. Your grandmother may seem like she only enjoys cute fluffy bunnies, sunshine, and rainbows, but beneath the surface there is undoubtedly a more dark and whimsical passion wanting to get out and express to the world! We've all got it. Embrace it!
NOTE: If you want to see a wonderful example of a human being's dance between their light and dark side, watch Christopher Nolan's "Batman Begins". Overall, the character of Batman embodies the inner light and dark concept.
